The Power of Intention Setting

- New years resolutions are slipping. I explained why resolutions dont work in the last video. In this video, I will cover one tool that can help us to focus on something that is in our control. - Speaker A: In the last video, I mentioned how resolutions, goals, plans and intentions are often used interchangeably. It is important to understand what they're for in order to use them effectively. - Speaker A defines intentions as a commitment to a process, while goals are defined by present actions. When their goals are driven by their larger intentions, success is not measured by whether or not the goal supports their greater intention. - Speaker A asks people about their intentions for the new year in this video. Let me know down below if you found this video helpful. Please like this video and subscribe to the channel to learn more.

By now, chances are that many of your new years resolutions are slipping if they havent disappeared entirely. If thats the case, dont worry, youre not alone. Ive been there. In fact, statistics show that a large percentage of the population will give up on their resolutions in the first few weeks of the new year. In the last video in this series, I explained why I think resolutions dont work. The short version is that you cant commit to something that is out of your control. In this video, I will cover one tool that can help us to do exactly to focus on something that is in our control. It's the only thing that we can control that can help us get from where we are to where we want to be. Let's dive in. In the last video, I mentioned how resolutions, goals, plans and intentions are terms that are often used interchangeably. I think that this confusion is why many of us struggle to use these tools effectively. Each is a very different tool, and just like any tool, it's important to understand what they're for in order to use them successfully. Here are my definitions for each a resolution is a commitment to an outcome. A goal is a definition of an outcome. It's neutral. It describes a point in time where a certain set of conditions have been met, weight, distance, followers, wealth, etcetera. A plan is a definition of a process. It defines the actions required to achieve the goal. A goal plus a plan equals results. This equation does work. This is pretty much what I used my bullet journal for for years. I would write something down and then I would break it down into actionable steps. And it worked. I became productive. I accomplished my goals. But eventually I realized that there is a critical part missing from this equation. Many people suffer from what Tal Ben Shahar calls the arrival fallacy, the belief that when you arrive at a certain destination, you'll be happy. Of course, this seldom is the case, but why? I think that many of our goals contain a deeper wish. Not for more followers, more money, exotic adventures. I think goals often represent desires to feel a certain way, to feel loved, respected, successful, excited, attractive, safe, skillful, or happy. When we set a goal, we tend to do so with an unspoken expectation to feel a certain way. The problem is that we, as a species, are really bad at correctly guessing how something will make us feel. This is actually known as impact bias. Impact bias refers to the tendency for people to overestimate the intensity and duration of their emotional reactions to future events. Things don't make us feel as good or as bad as we think they will. This bias poses a real problem when making decisions, and it can be particularly relevant in situations where the outcome is uncertain or emotionally charged. Like with the goals. Our circumstances, needs and our feelings are constantly changing. It will take time to accomplish a goal. That's why accomplishing our goal is guaranteed to feel different from what we expected, which can leave us feeling confused and dissatisfied even when we achieve the outcome we originally defined. Goals can also give us a sense of purpose and identity. As you work toward your goal, you assume the role of the person needed to accomplish that goal. You become the athlete, the vlogger, the writer, the traveler, the yogi. This sense of purpose and identity, however, is confined to the lifespan of that goal. When we accomplish our goal, when we've lost the weight, gotten those followers, visited that country, we can also lose our purpose and our identity. The cruel irony is that the moment we get what we want, we can find ourselves even more unsatisfied than when we started. I've been there. The experience forced me to finally ask the only question that, to me, ultimately matters. The question that we need to ask ourselves before we set any of our goals. Why? Why do I want to do this? Why does it matter? Why is it worth my incredibly limited time on this earth? Why? Is a small question, but one that can help us clarify the true motivation underneath our goals, behind our goals. Why do we want to lose weight? Have the thousands of followers, millions of dollars? Launch a company? Achieving our goals will feel empty when they exist in a vacuum. For goals to feel meaningful, they need to serve a larger purpose. Now, I know this word purpose can seem really overwhelming, or vague or scary. That's because it means something different to each and every one of us. It's hard to define it for everyone. So let me put it in another way. Your goals should support something that you care about, independent of goals. That could be anything from being a better parent or partner or teacher, to being healthier, more peaceful, more content, kinder to yourself. These are ambitions that are based on things that you value because of who you are, things that don't have any expiration date. This is where intentions come into play. I define an intention as a commitment to a process. Like resolutions, intentions are also commitments. These commitments, however, aren't defined by some future outcome. They're defined by present actions. The purpose of an intention is to be rather than to become. Whereas the point of a goal is to define a future destination. An intention can help us arrive in each moment, to be present, to focus on the journey and not the destination. I know. I know. It's a cliche, but it matters. Why? Because goals are moments in time. The journey in between those moments is where we spend most of our lives, so it makes sense that we should really invest in that time. Does that mean that plans or goals are not important? No, not at all. Let's take a step back. Think of something that you care about deeply. Maybe it's your family, your relationship, your health, your company, your environment, politics. Chances are that whatever it is, it could benefit from your support in countless ways. When you set an intention, you're committing to the process of learning how to do that. You commit to figuring out how to be a better partner, to be a better teacher, to be a better civilian, a parent. How do you do that? By setting a goal. I see a goal as an experiment. Will losing ten pounds help me be a better leader? Maybe it will, maybe it won't. The only way that I'll be able to find that out is by experiencing that reality. That experience is shaped by my goal and its supporting plan. When our goals are driven by our larger intentions, success is not measured by whether or not I accomplish a goal, but whether or not the goal supports my greater intention. If it does, great. If not, then I just set another goal and run another experiment. In this way, all effort counts. There is no failure, only feedback. It does away with this all or nothing approach that resolutions present us with. It gives our plans purpose, and it makes our goals meaningful. When supported by larger intentions, goals become what they should be. Learning experience is designed to help us better understand what we care about and how to best care for those things. What are your intentions for the new year? Let me know down below if you found this video helpful. Please like this video and subscribe to the channel if you want to learn more. Be sure to check out the other videos in this series or check out the accompanying blog post. Thank you for taking the time and I'll see you in the next one. Happy bullet journaling.