I Spent 50 Hours Only Eating Weight Loss Foods

Here is a brief summary of the transcript: The transcript describes a man's experience eating low-calorie and diet foods for 50 hours. Key points: - He went to a "low carb grocery store" and was surprised by all the low-calorie options, like low-carb cereal and protein bars. Many products had a lot of artificial ingredients. - He tried many low-calorie baked goods and snacks. Most tasted bad or dry. The best was a protein brownie. - He made a low-carb pizza, lasagna, and breakfast sandwich. They didn't taste good. The lasagna was compared to an MRE (meal ready to eat). - At Red Lobster, he got a lobster tail and shrimp which was lower calorie than fried options. He enjoyed it. - He had digestive issues from heavy fiber intake. Some low-calorie noodles even caused stomach problems and lawsuits. - Overall, he lost 3 pounds but didn't feel great. He suggests eating healthier versions of foods you love rather than relying solely on low-calorie replacements. Moderation is key.

Speaker A: Losing things is part of life. Whether that's your keys, your wallet, a one v one to a twelve year old kid on cod, or a small piece of my mind every single day. Those things are easy to do but wait. People find that to be very difficult. For the next 50 hours, I'm going to be trying weight loss foods to see if they can turn me into a winner or if I lose something else. All my money to corporate America. We out here at the kido castle, aka the low carb grocery, to pick up some goodies. Carbs. They used to be my soulmate, but for the next 50 hours, they are my ex. Hopefully she takes me back. But the low carb business, it's like a sensory deprivation tank for your tongue. But we're gonna go inside and blow a big load of money. This is absolutely crazy. So this is $7.39 for five calories. You're paying a premium price for literally no nutrients. It's like going to a strip club and paying them to stay at least 50 yards away from you. It makes no sense. Walking around this store, it was pretty crazy to see how many different options that we have that are lower calories. Are you a chocolate fan? There's Hershey's, there's reeses. Do you love candy? While there's starburst flavored water. Are you keto and terrified of carbs and pizza? Well, they have brick oven pizza flavored protein puffs. And do you see this shelf that literally looks like a pharmacy? Well, these are all flavor drops to mask your boring, bland food. I love shrimp cocktails. So I was gonna buy this cocktail sauce, but there's literally more ingredients in here than a livercant cocktail. You guys see, like, that's like a freaking essay of ingredients. That's not scary shit. Excuse me, would you be able to show me some of the best sellers in the store? This is selling very well, but I don't think people know what it's for. Which one? It's like $20 for a box of cereal, but it's for bariatric patients, but people are just buying it. Oh, my God. It's pretty pricey, but that's like 14 grams of protein. 130 calories for cereal, right? What does biotric mean? Well, it's a person that's classified as having obesity who has a body mass index that is equal to or greater than 30 by attic. Surgery is done when diet and exercise just haven't worked. Involves reducing the amount of food you can eat and absorb by shrinking your stomach. I bought it got enough fiber in my basket to keep a whole bus zone regular. Definitely the only grocery store you can shop at while hungry, that's for sure. I just dropped a rack. $100. Crazy. Good morning. I'm not quite there yet. Oh. Oh, I'm here now. Okay. Thank you for having me. You too. My Tim's coffee is about to get intimate with a new set of partners instead of a typical donut. Now, my expectations going into these foods are as low as the likelihood of a kanye redemption arc, but honestly, I'd be happy to be proved wrong. I feel like I just have to go into it knowing that it's like gaslighting for the greater good and I should be okay. So we got four things here. Not the first time taking one, let alone four for the team. Power pie. It kind of sounds like a cream pie that wants to reverse rolls. Right away. I'm looking at it, and it's just taking me back to when I was a kid eating Joe Louie's. I ran through boxes of those things. 290 grams of protein. Oh, damn. Bio checked. Like I care, right? They gave away the surprise. I can see the filling. I like to bite into it and know, like, how much this vessel can take. That's not a jolly dog. This tastes like a Joe Louis with too much morals. Ugh. You guys see how dry that is? You know what you see on the label? If you want to choke yourself, have one of these. I'm not eating any more of that. That's awful. That's a two out of ten. Oh, I was excited for this one. We got ourselves the legendary sweet roll. Kind of a presumptuous name. Legendary. Now when I think of sweet rolls, I think of it being warm, gooey, moist. It reminds me of grandma. Very wholesome, with a chocolate top, just how I like it. 220 calories. Holy God, man. This could be an actual weapon. It is so dense. I wonder if King Arthur could pull Excalibur out of this thing. Holy shit, man. Visually, I don't even want to eat it. It looks like just. It looks like I found this at the museum. This is just not it. It has the consistency of, like, a, you know, those, like, urinal cakes. I'm gonna give that a four out of ten. Yuck. We got our first vegan product, a vegan banana nut bread power pro bar. Now, I feel like people think that, like, vegan food just automatically means it's healthier. But I strongly believe that the banana flavor source is probably the same as my antibiotics. Yeah, it smells like medicine. It smells medicinal. Oh. As it goes in your mouth, it's not that bad. But as it settles in and you connect with it, they really nailed the taste of disappointment. I feel like I'm eating like my old report cards. I think so far, we have discovered that the products don't need to be good. They just need to be bought. Yuck. I'm gonna give that a. That's a three out of ten. And our last thing, a protein brownie. That is chocolate glazed donut flavor. So a bit of an identity crisis. It could be the best of both worlds. Or the equivalent of sitting on a ten hour flight in the middle seat. Okay. The reason why I bought this. You guys know I don't like cake donuts, but I see a hole, and I see the hole, I wanna fill it, and then I buy it, and it just literally looks like a brownie. I it's a little bit. Mmm. That's the best one yet. I go to a bakery, and I'd be happy if I got that. I give this a seven out of ten. The other ones, I don't know what happened to them. Maybe they got, like, the virus that I can't name. Not good. Don't recommend. It was time to head to the gym, so I had myself a pre workout meal with a little bit of caffeine coming from this drink from the no carb company. If I'm being honest, that name's a little bit on the nose. That's like me calling my channel. I work out solely for donuts. The flavor was pretty interesting. Miami strawberry. Kind of sounds like a small town girl that got corrupted by the big city before I even had a sip, I expected it to kind of taste like a first draft monster. But after I had my first sip, I was pleasantly surprised. It tasted natural, very subtle. Good carbonation. I would taste her again. Solid eight out of ten. Next up for the protein source, we had ourselves some khale raisins, aka beef jerky. Now, the thing that was a little bit sus about this thing was the meat was undisclosed. It literally just said meat stick. But like I've always learned, protein is protein, no matter the source. I took it out. Respectable girth. And it was time for my mouth to discover how loose the legal definition of beef really is. I started to chew it. I got in my head a little bit. It could be horse. I could be riding this jerky. It could even be human. I could be taken to Tijuana. But overall, the flavor profile was there. It was Cajun style. I like, the spice. And, yeah, I would have it again. Eight out of ten. I'm realizing the hard way that I probably should have worked it before I decided to hit a midday fiber printhead, because my stomach is at war right now, y'all. Whoo. Ouch. Workout complete. It was awful. I'm feeling clogged up, like, rush hour traffic right now, so I'm gonna do, like, a couple minutes on the treadmill to hopefully streamline things, if you know what I mean. Oh, you know me. I'm just at home making pizza for lunch. That feels so weird saying that, but I got one of these in the oven. Un crust. Now, if you're making pizza and this is the crust, I can almost guarantee you that you are eating alone. All right, y'all. I'm excited. When I hear pizza, no matter what it looks like, I'm here right away. The credentials on the box are quite impressive. It's like a very good tinder profile. But then you look at it, it's like, sure, the profile was good, but then the conversation gets kind of boring. So I'm gonna come on the backside and go for the crust, because I feel like, to be honest, this is what we're judging. This is regular cheese, regular sauce. We know that's not gonna be bad. It's not crispy, it's not great. There's nothing about it that's, like, sending me in a direction that's, like, not pizza crust. It's very thin. Girth earns grace in my books. Mmm. Yeah, it's not good, but it does have cheese. This pizza is so small. I could eat this. Not even for lunch. I could eat this for activity. You know what I mean? Like, this is, like, a joke. Look at a moose bouche. If I got this at a restaurant and it was pizza, I would be upset. Like, I'd be mad. But I do find it quite tasty. I'm gonna give it a seven out of ten. A solid seven out of ten. I am in charge of dinner tonight, and Katie is gonna be pissed because I am making lasagna, sort of. I'm gonna be using the hearts of palm lasagna sheets and the Walden farms tomato sauce. I'm gonna read this to you guys. Walden Farm's classic tomato basil marinara sauce is inspired by an old world recipe. Like what? Old world of play doh. Like, what do you mean? Featuring real sun ripened tomatoes and an assortment of herbs and spices, including oregano, basil, and a blend of cayenne and black pepper. Oh, yeah, I totally remember my nona talking about how she worked the Tuscany xanthum gum farms. And my craft singles is also from the Swiss Alps. You know what I mean? Like, that is bullshit, guys. Like, what the hell? Making it seem like it's all natural and it's literally full of chemicals. Sun ripened tomatoes. I think I need to take a vitamin D pill. Just smelling this thing, it's probably seen as much sun as my ass. I don't know how they can get away with saying that stuff. Damn. These have, like, wild macros. 20 calories for a third of the pack, although it was $9.99. Pasta is like carbs for the people. This is like. This could be, like in a Lil Wayne video. Like, this is way too expensive. This stuff is not affordable consistently. This is, like, a one off treat. But it's not even a treat. It doesn't even make sense. We got our lasagna sheets. We got our sauce, pan, cheese. Get ready for the sickest lasagna time lapse you've ever seen. Did somebody say authentic italian? I'm just kidding. I have literally no words for this right now.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: Well, I'm sorry. The lasagna literally looks like it got home from being literally ran over by a train.

Speaker B: Literally.

Speaker A: Yeah, but I was slaving away at the sugo all day.

Speaker B: Sugo? What is this? There's, like, lines in my noodles.

Speaker A: Taste it.

Speaker B: Not the lines I'm used to, either. Salute.

Speaker A: Okay. Get a bigger bite.

Speaker B: I want to make sure it's good. Nope.

Speaker A: Oh, I should listen to you with that. It tastes like a. Like an Mre lasagna, but, like, if I was having an Mre lasagna, I'd be at war. And, like, that, I wouldn't really care.

Speaker B: Is that how you feel in here?

Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, I think when you're on a.

Speaker B: Diet, you're at war with yourself.

Speaker A: Yeah. And food and life and happiness and I. Everything.

Speaker B: That was deep. Deep.

Speaker A: Yeah. That was, like, philosophical. It was the sauce. You can taste the science in it.

Speaker B: Oh, that's not normal sauce.

Speaker A: No.

Speaker B: Ugh. I want to spit it out.

Speaker A: Yeah. This tastes like a pretty redneck sauce. It's very sweet.

Speaker B: Mmm. And the noodles are too chewy.

Speaker A: I mean, the 20 calories per noodle? No, for the pack.

Speaker B: Damn. Yeah, you can taste it.

Speaker A: There'll be more for your lunch tomorrow too.

Speaker B: No, thanks.

Speaker A: Out of ten. 32127, do we have the same thing? Idiot. I made carrot cake. It didn't come with frosting, but give me a couple seconds. But I made a discovery. So it's 120 calories for one 16th of the cake. So if I do quick math, that's 1920 calories for the entire cake, which I didn't let cool, which is why it kind of looks like that. But this is where they get you. Like, I thought, 120 calories sounds pretty good. Look at the serving sizes before you buy it because it might be too good to be true. And usually that is the case. So I'm gonna try to serve it up and we're gonna see how pathetic one 16th actually is. So there's one 16th right there. Like, guys, I can't make this up. I cannot make it up. But let's give it a taste test here. It's probably the best thing I've had all day. It's an eight and a half out of ten. It's really good. Good morning, low calorie food lovers. Today is a new day. And yesterday I will say the weight loss food won because I significantly underate. I wasn't full. I just felt so disgusting and bloated. My will to eat disappeared, which is crazy coming from me. But today for breakfast, I have a plan. I'm going to make a weight loss mcMuffin, kind of for the egg. Oh, my God, if only that was real eggs. For the egg, I'm going to be using plant based alternative egg. And then for the bun, I'm going to be using carbonate bagels. Carbonate just sounds so cute to me. Like a little car of army semolina soldiers, carb cadets, carbonauts. We got five tablespoons of this egg powder, which is made of chickpeas. Just stick to falafels and hummus. Chickpeas, come on. With five tablespoons of water. It. It smells like farts, y'all. This looks like doo doo. Get ready for that iconic egg sizzle. Woo. It looks like I'm making more of like a giant protein pancake than anything, but at least it's actually forming up. I feel like you need at least a minor in geology to cut this thing. Cause look how thin this bagel is. But I mean, this is what we're all after, right? We wanna be thin. It's just a little bit of motivation. I will say it smells divine. Very heavy on the garlic, so no one's gonna be kissing me today. Oh, shit. I got myself a tall glass of water because this sandwich, my friends, looks quite dry. And although I'm all for it, this is not the choking hazard that I have in mind. So I'm a little bit nervous going into a vegan egg. Just gotta breathe deeply and count to ten. Wow. It tastes like ramen. What the hell? The egg, though, does not remotely taste like egg. I feel like I've had, like, more convincing, kinder surprises. Oh. Oh. It definitely tastes like plant matter. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't even feed this to my worst enemy. But I might even make this for Katie tomorrow morning. Wow. I'm gonna give the bagel. That's, like, a nine out of ten. I completely forgot. I bought the best seller at the store, which was the by bar, the bari something cereal. I even feel like a patient because it comes in individual packets. The 130 calories per pouch, 14 grams of protein. That's super crunchy, and it's, like, overwhelmingly sweet. Wow. This is for sure, like, an older person cereal. Cause I feel like as you get older, your palate and your taste buds go, you just want to elevate it a little bit so you can actually achieve some sort of flavor. That's where my head's at right now. But the crunch is pretty insane. I do like it. It's gonna knock you out. Whoa. I'm gonna give it a. I'm liking it less now. It's a little bit too much. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. We are at Red Lobster right now. I've never been here before, and I've been telling all my friends how excited I was. Come. And they just said, don't be. But have you seen the commercials at this place? Unless, like, red lobster has, like, insane CGI budget, I have no idea what's going on in there. Anyways, they use tons of butter. That scared the shit out of me. Anyways, they use tons of butter, a lot of fried foods. We're gonna go inside and see what's the healthiest thing that we can get. Nothing better than getting a good deal on some tail. Am I right? 530 to 2670 calories. What? I must be, like, the youngest person in here by, like, a good 60 years. It's like an old home. It's dark, right when you walk in, there's just a tank of poor little lobsters. Like, it's sad af. And I like to think that, like, lobsters have, like, emotional range and they actually feel something. I don't even want lobster anymore. I was struggling, but I think I'm ready. Okay. I know I said I was not gonna get lobster, but it's better in my stomach than somebody else's, to be honest. Peter just brought me some table bread, which he said was brushed with butter. And you guys could smell this right now. Wow. If you see the amount of butter they just gave me on the side that they typically put on, it's insane. Look at this right here. That is a lot. It's like a legit soup bowl. It looks like they actually, like, peeled the doo doo string off the shrimp, which is a nice little touch. Oh, my God. I've been sleeping on red lobster. All right, let's do this. Lobster tail. It just released. I feel weird being lobster in my gym clothes. I feel I need, like, a black tie. No. When it comes to these, like, low carb, low calorie special snacks that I've been eating, I feel like you can go down this slippery slope where that's, like, all you look for. You only look for the fake versions of your favorite foods. Next thing you know, you're doing, like, chest day in the metaverse. But just, like, the unhealthier versions of those foods, you should be having those kind of, like, low calorie ones in moderation as well, because there's stuff in it that aren't amazing for you either. It's not all about calories. And the macros, you gotta read the labels. There's a lot of chemicals, so everything in moderation, nothing is off limits. This entire meal was 880 calories, but that's including the sauce. Oh, hey, I didn't see you guys there. Just currently making dinner right now, I was kind of in the mood for, like, thai food, like a pad thai situation. So I'm using these miracle noodles, these cognac noodles, which I recommend not ever smelling because they are extremely fishy. And, like, a lot of things, you know what that means? Stay away. But macros are, like, insane. There's literally no macros in it. Two servings for the pouch. So it's ten calories for the whole thing, because it's literally 97% water. I made my own homemade, like, thai peanut sauce with the PB two. Super good. I feel like this is what's gonna be, like, rescuing this thing. Yeah, that sauce will make you wanna start taking risks. This looks like somebody actually had thai food the night before, but something about the dish went bad, so they got food poisoning and vomited, and now it's on my pan. Let's give this angel hair a little pull. Oh, my gosh. That should not happen. There's nothing heavenly about that bite. This is like if Satan made noodles. Do you guys remember what I said at red lobster about these foods? Not always being the best for you. Well, listen up. These noodles are cautioned to be consumed in moderation and blamed for unholy levels of gastric upset and rage. Even a woman filed a lawsuit on these noodles for putting her in the hospital. This is Brody. She thought she was being smart by eating four packages of these noodles. I mean, 80 calories. You really can't go wrong. Psych. She actually took her to the hospital when doctors discovered that she had undigested noodles, had formed a solid, indigestible mass called bazor in her digestive tract. And as a result, she says that she was forced to remain on a diet of nothing but soup and Diet Coke for an entire month. Poor Brody. Now you have to wonder if these companies make this dish for it to actually, like, be good. Or is it literally just to make up real estate in your stomach? I feel like I gotta be, like, down bad if I'm making this. If I'm buying, like, ten calorie packets of noodles, man, I need. I need therapy. My stomach was on fire after those noodles. But for the nightcap, I decided to have an apple with some fit butter, which sounds like it's marketed to be better than peanut butter until you read the nutrition label. Even though I did lose three pounds over the past 50 hours, I didn't feel great the entire time, similar to if I was just eating junk food. Moral of the story is, nothing is off limits. Eat the foods that you love, and if you want to have them, more often than not, try to make small adjustments, like swapping the butter for lemon juice. Little things add up, and again, it's not that serious.